i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
