I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
