so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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