i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
