when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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