so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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