So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
