U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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