At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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