i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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