She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
