There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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