VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Barsexuality is the new black.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm bleeding and have questions
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
