nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
