The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
