You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
