In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
