Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
