Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize