It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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