It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
