Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
