That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
