Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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