I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
