I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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