i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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