some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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