triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
