Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Boobs are out for the taking
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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