please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
