So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize