yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
