he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
