Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
