Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
