I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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