doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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