Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
