giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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