I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
