Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i think i have two assholes
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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