Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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