All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
