we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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