let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
