You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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