so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
