I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
