I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
