Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She bit a glass in half.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
