found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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