he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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