Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize