He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
