Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
