oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I will pee on everything he values.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
