Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Actions speak louder than pants.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
