evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I could make wine with my vomit
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
