i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
