It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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