one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
