You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Drake has all the answers
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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