i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
one might say we're banned from that church
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
