Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
