Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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