I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
