the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
